Old lede: Exclusion was the word of the night during a speech given yesterday in a packed recital hall by Cecilia Zarate-Laun.
New lede: Exclusion of the lower classes is the root cause of Colombia's ongoing problems according to Cecilia Zarate-Laun.
New Structure Outline: After the lede I would FIRST do an overview of what Ms. Zarate-Laun spoke of before her credentials, as they don't nessecerily reflect what she talks about and it might lead the reader to not understand what I'm going for.
Next I would go into more specifics about what she talked about instead of doing a fly-over of EVERYTHING.
After that I would get some quotes from observers. I got some good ones from her, but no audience reaction, and I know a couple of people who probably would have had good ones (people studying this subject).
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I did my speech coverage on the same speech. I think talking about the issues before mentioning her credentials is important, but you have to remember to give her credibility in what she is saying by at least stating a few facts that make her sound important enough to be talking about the subject.
I like the way you discuss restructuring your article. Good work! I covered this speech too, but my audience reaction quotes weren't as good as I hoped.
It took me a few times reading your lead to really understand exactly what you were sayiing (im slow) because is starts with exclusion. But now that i get it i like that you started it that way. Its different and more interesting i think. It gave a good feeling of how her speech was, which i also covered. good job
Post a Comment